The Penticton and Area Cycling Association has raised almost $40,000 to fund the creation of a pump track. (File photo) Danny Halmo is an advocate of Langley’s cycling community. Black Press photo

Letter: Sorry, not sorry for being a happy cyclist

Editor: As an electric vehicle Guinness World Record setter and avid member of the fastest growing demographic in cycling, the middle aged white male:

I would like to formally apologize to all you poor rich entitled brats who seem to despise the horrible inconvenience we have inflicted upon you.

People who complain about our environmental stewardship, and slower, healthier pace and lifestyles that so clearly threaten your get- the- heck- out- of- my- way- I’m- in- a- hurry- and- more- important-than-you way of life.

So pardon us for being happy that any council does this to you and for you so ingraciously sacrificing a part of your high speed multi-lane thoroughfare, just so we can have the peace of mind and safety of a shared, raised or extra wide painted pathway, so as to not be worried about getting hit in the back of the helmet by the trailer mirror of some distracted driving airhead driving a duelie to go get groceries.

And far be it from us to denounce your lack of concern for the environment for driving said three ton diesel belching behemoth for purposes other than delivering animal feed or pulling a trailer, as it was intended for.

And let’s not forget that there are laws requiring you to give us one metre when passing, to check your mirrors when opening your doors, and that honking a horn at us only strengthens our resolve to keep on pissing you off. (EDIT: Making your day)

And by the way, you fossil fuel burning fossil, oil is the sun’s excrement, the oil reserves are its septic tank, a gasoline engine is not an electric motor, and you can’t even start one of yours without one of ours.

Meanwhile, we hope you don’t mind as we are going to continue to live cleaner, healthier lifestyles so that perhaps one day, we will all live long enough to actually pay off our overpriced mortgages.

And by the way, Montreal leads Canada in cycling implimentation and usage, so if we really want to be the greenest city in the world by 2020, then you premium elitist engine heads are really gonna lose it.

Have a nice day and happy cycling everyone!

Danny “Hurricane” Halmo,

Langley

Get local stories you won't find anywhere else right to your inbox.
Sign up here

Just Posted

Abbotsford’s Chase Claypool catches first NFL touchdown pass

Abby Senior grad established new record for longest scrimmage TD by a Canadian

TRAFFIC: Crews clear stalled vehicle westbound Highway 1 in Langley

Vehicle was off to the left shoulder, no lanes were blocked

VIDEO: A walk through previously-unseen history in Aldergrove

Many of the exhibits on display Saturday at the Legion branch were having their first public showing

VIDEO: A one-person Terry Fox walk by Langley City resident

Lois Mcleay didn’t have to worry about social distancing

VIDEO: gunshots fired outside Langley gas station

Two people involved left scene uninjured, police said

Quirky Canadian comedy ‘Schitt’s Creek’ takes Emmys by storm with comedy sweep

Toronto-raised Daniel Levy and Ottawa-born Annie Murphy both got supporting actor nods

B.C. has highest number of active COVID-19 cases per capita, federal data shows

B.C. currently has 1,803 active cases after weeks of COVID-19 spikes in the province

181 days gone: Family continues to look for man last seen in RCMP custody 6 months ago

Brandon Sakebow’s last known location was leaving Mission RCMP cell, police say; family has doubts

Mission poker player missing in Nevada is found alive and safe

Brad Booth went missing in July 13, found in mid September

Is it time to start thinking about greener ways to package cannabis?

Packaging suppliers are still figuring eco-friendly and affordable packaging options that fit the mandates of Cannabis Regulations

B.C. unveils new cannabis sales programs to help small, Indigenous growers

Government did not say how it will define small producers, but says nurseries will be included in the policy

B.C. transportation minister will not seek re-election

Claire Trevena has held the position since 2017

Young B.C. cancer survivor rides 105-km with Terry Fox’s brother

Jacob Bredenhof and Darrell Fox’s cycling trek raises almost $90,000 for cancer research

Most Read