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End of the world and other stories

I watched a documentary on the Mayan calendar and the speculation that it depicts the end of the world on Dec.21. 2012. This is not a significant hardship for me as I usually don’t start my Christmas shopping until the 21st or 22nd. So if it actually doesn’t end, I still have time, but if it does end, then I haven’t wasted time and money on shopping, wrapping and gifts.

It seems to me that the predictions of the world coming to an end have been made many times in my short existence here. Either some defrocked religious leader has founded ‘The Church of What’s Happening Now’ and convinced his followers to give him all their money and belongings, or a cult of people, now too old to be hippies, have found another reason not to get jobs.

A few years back, a well-known California radio preacher, Harold Camping, made a bold prediction that the world would end in 1994. This created quite a stir among his followers causing suicides and mass hysteria. When 1994 came and went, good old Harold simply said, ‘Whoops, I made a miscalculation, it is actually May 21, 2011.” So it seems end of the world predictions are a lot like weather predictions.

May 21 would be a terrible time for the world to end. The Canucks will be well into the Stanley Cup run, with probably only one series left, and wouldn’t that just be our luck. The record books would have an asterisk saying,   *World ended, the boys still wouldn’t get to hoist the cup.”

But I am confused about the discrepancy in the dates, one predicting May 2011 and the other December 2012. Someone has to clear this up soon because it sure throws a wrench into our decision making. Do we pay our 2010 taxes, do we put lime and fertilizer on the lawn, do we plan summer vacations this year? No one seems to have a definitive answer.

I studied the Mayan calendar for a bit. It appears very complicated, but somewhat resembles a drawing of sunset my granddaughter made for me on one of her overnight visits. We have only the word of scholars and archaeologists that it is a calendar predicting the end of the world.  What if it was simply an art project by a third-year Mayan art major and has no real meaning at all?

Concerning the date it stops, what if some Mayan teenager had been tasked with chipping it out of stone, got a cramp in his wrist and went off to play with his buddies and that’s as far as he got?

Another scholar theorizes that the Mayan calendar is like the old car odometers and when it reaches that final date it simply rolls over to one and starts again, signalling the end of a period in time but not the end of the world. I’ll go with that explanation.

The end of the world will be a big event. I have been involved with organizing and planning lots of big events and I’ll be part of this one. I have no doubt, just before the end, an omnipotent voice will say to me, “Jim, would you mind putting those chairs and tables away before you go?”

Hang in there folks, I think God is having way too much fun with us to end it all. At least that’s what McGregor says.