While I have always appreciated Father’s Day, this year is extra special.
The past four Father’s Days have been great with my son, Danveer, but it is the addition of my beautiful daughter Maya, which has brought along a greater appreciation for fatherhood.
June 15 is her first birthday. And to say this past year has been a difficult one would be an understatement.
Maya was born with several medical conditions, the most serious of those being Tetralogy of Fallot, a congenital heart defect.
We knew ahead of time that she had this condition, which made it easier for us to prepare mentally for the challenges our family would face. But that still didn’t get us ready for what the next year would bring.
Looking at her now, with her toothy grin, messy mop of hair and heart-melting smile, it becomes easy to forget just what she has gone through.
In October, she had open heart surgery at B.C. Children’s Hospital to close a hole in her heart. This was the second surgery of three she had in the first seven months of her life: one came in the first few weeks of her life to widen one of her narrow arteries, and the third was in December, when the doctors attached a feeding tube directly to her stomach.
She faces more surgeries in the coming years.
Following her October surgery, the initial prognosis looked good, we were told, but as she lay resting in the hospital’s Intensive Care Unit her heart stopped beating.
My wife and I were with her, beside her bed. By the look on the doctors’ and nurses’ faces, we knew something serious was happening. They quickly escorted us out of the ICU and into a private room.
The next hour felt like an eternity as we waited. It was such a feeling of helplessness and despair, anxiously waiting, hoping and praying for good news, while trying not to think about the worst case scenario.
Thankfully we had the support of our family, as well as a spiritual care worker at the hospital. Finally, the doctor came in and explained that the stress of the operation had been too much for Maya’s heart and it had stopped beating for 22 minutes.
Luckily for us, B.C. Children’s Hospital is perhaps the best of its kind in Canada and attracts top quality doctors. The doctor in the ICU that day was able to give Maya CPR and get her heart beating once again. She would spend nearly three weeks in the ICU, one week of that hooked up to a heart and lung machine.
It was difficult seeing our little daughter, barely 10 pounds, with her chest open, and a tangle of tubes hooked up to machines all around her bed. Every day she was on the machine, brought the risk of infection.
She just lay there, a sad look in her eyes, a tiny whimper passing for her voice, unable to feel the warmth of her parents’ hugs.
Things eventually got better and we were able to bring her home. She is doing much better now, except for concerns about her lack of weight gain.
I marvel at what she has been through. The dad in me would give anything in the world to switch places with her. Let it be me laying on a hospital bed suffering, if it means my daughter is happy and healthy.
We know she is happy right now and we have faith she will one day be healthy too.
Kids are something special: they make you forget the troubles of everyday life.
Before I had kids of my own, I never realized how much love was really in my heart. That is why every day, not just Father’s Day, I am glad to have my children to hug and kiss and hold tight.